2004-10-19 13:05
Dramatis Personae
- Magpie (or Ms. Nest if you're nasty). Your hostess.
Thirtymumble-year old sysadmin
at one of the last of the Internet startups, herein referred to as
bigwannabe.com.
Bay Area born and raised and
excessively proud of being one of the few natives around here. Has many
interests and little attention span.
- TheBoy, Magpie's partner in crime. He doesn't exactly approve of
the diary thing. He makes occasional appearances here, essentially as a Greek
chorus of snark. Referred to as TheBoy because of...
- TheCat, Magpie's foul-tempered little calico. TheBoy is the center
of her universe, and while she hates and/or fears most everyone else, she
moons around after TheBoy, gazing at him with fatuous, drooling adoration.
Also has an intense, inexplicable thing for
closets.
- Sweetcheeks, Magpie's baby brother, recently
engaged to
Turtledove. The happy couple is collectively referred to here as the
Best Hope for
Grandchildren or BHGs, since all of the parents involved (Mom,
Dad, Turtlemom and Turtledad) feel the next generation
is way overdue. They have many fine qualities other than being engaged,
but until September 2005 or so nothing else will be relevant to most people
around them, poor fools.
Other members of the Nest family include Turtlesis, Aunt Slappy and Aunt and Uncle Jesus. - Redneck Geek and MedGirl, formerly (and unimaginatively)
known as S. and A. When I refer to our biker trash friends, these are
the first two I think of. Grossing out Redneck Geek is always a major coup.
- Mad Scientist, kidnapper of gnomes.
- Various other friends, most of whom I've known since I was a kid.
Is that scary or what?
- The A's, who
break my heart into tiny pieces each fall when they make it to the
playoffs and collapse in the first round.
- Mayberry, my hometown, site of my disgustingly wholesome childhood
and where my parents still live. When new people see it, they expect
sprites and unicorns to come flouncing out of the forest, or Opie to walk
up the road from the fishing holler toting a rod. It's about a half hour
from...
- El Suburb
, the weird, antiquated town in which TheBoy and I now make our home.
Everything was built in the 50s and most of the residents, it seems, moved
in then and never left. Having a fake name for our town is almost pointless,
because even people in the Bay Area don't really know where it is.
- The one loyal reader,
a "student" at
Napa State. His
naivete about the real world and undemandingly low standards in literature
are a daily inspiration for this diary.