2003-07-29 8:59 a.m.
Pink Think
Pink Think, as described in the scary/funny book of the same name, is the sometimes contradictory, poisonously proscriptive set of cultural expectations that constitutes "femininity":
Pink think is a set of ideas and attitudes about what constitutes proper female behavior; a groupthink that was consciously or not adhered to by advice writers, manufacturers of toys and other consumer products, experts in many walks of life, and the public at large, particularly during the years spanning the mid-twentieth century -- but enduring even into the twenty-first century. Pink think assumes there is a standard of behavior to which all women, no matter their age, race or body type, must aspire. [...] But pink think is more than a stereotyped vision of girls and women as poor drivers who are afraid of mice and snakes, adore babies and small dogs, talk incessantly on the phone, and are incapable of keeping secrets. Integral to pink think is the belief that one's success as a woman in grounded in one's allegiance to such behavior.
The book goes on to describe in funny and sometimes horrifying detail just what the expected behavior of girls and women was in midcentury, according to magazines, advice books and the like. (If you're squeamish, skip the part about Lysol.) But sadly, some remnants of pink think are still alive and well in the 21st century, especially in the world of romance and marriage, which are still supposed to be our most lofty goals in life. Think The Rules. Think The Surrendered Wife. (Sounds like some good bodice-ripping pr0n, doesn't it? Sadly, it's not.) And think nonsense like this:
- Did you know you might have trouble keeping your friends after the wedding?
This little gem includes tips on how to keep your husband's rampaging jealousy at bay around your guy friends and how to treat your sad, bitter "single" friends. (After all, if you're now Mrs. Rodney Mouthbreather, your friends' relationships just can't be counted as successful without tulle and a rock.)
It shouldn't be surprising that this is coming out of MSN's Women Central. After all, their "find answers" menu says, "Our experts are ready to help with dating, fitness, sex and more." More!? Why, what else could there possibly be?
- "For the single woman older than 30 who already has maxed out on cosmetics, lingerie, gym memberships, weight-loss programs and self-help tapes comes a six-month intensive husband-hunting program with a price tag of $9,600."
This article
is less about the silly things women are told to do to catch a husband (among others, making your closet "man-ready") and more about the desperation of
the women who sign on for it.
- The wedding industry is trying to make wedding planning more guy-friendly, though the way they're going about it is distinctly on the flip side of pink think. Among the supposedly groom-friendly innovations: registry guns, so a groom can zap the loot he wants, "elevating the registry to a sport" (emphasis mine); fancier groom's cakes, "featuring toppers that reflect the groom's interests (sports teams or frat letters)"; groomsonline.com, which
includes advice on how to hire strippers for your bachelor party (shouldn't the best man be doing that?) and (gasp!) actually allowing the groom to participate in wedding planning, especially if he has control-freak
tendencies. After all, the article says, "some vendors maintain that grooms are 'less emotional' than brides, and as a result they take the grooms more seriously. That can mean better deals."
- And speaking of The Rules, here's a choice piece of 21st-century pink think off their media
page:
"You've got have a life besides marriage, because you don't want your husband to get sick of you hanging around the house all day. It's part of the rules. You follow The Rules?" --Kelly Rowland, Destiny's Child
Riiiiight. Don't have a life beyond your marriage because you have interests and dreams and talents of your own -- do it so that you won't bore the snot out of your future husband.
And they say pop stars aren't role models.