magpie's nest of shiny objects

2003-03-17 9:56 p.m.

What's Shiny Today: Warping the Nation's Youth Edition

Hey girls! It's Cool 2B Real! And being "real" means scarfing down as much beef as your growing digestive system can handle! Answer the poll on what kind of beef you eat when hanging with your friends and keeping it real! Real friends make decisions for themselves, and they'd never suggest you try eating a vegetarian diet. And play cool games like "Burger Boggle" and "Grillin' & Chillin'." And this is all to boost girls' self-esteem, not to make money selling more beef. No!
Not to be left out, the Pork Board has created its own site, Pork4Kids. Watch the cheerfully multi-ethnic kids frolic through the site with a happy pink pig. Meet farm kids. who raise pigs for unexplained purposes. And reunite Peggy the Pork Chop with other pork products in the stirring family drama, Are You In My Food Group? Note how the site associates happy pigs with pork, yet doesn't actually explain how happy pigs become pork.
Now it's the vegans' turn! VegKids.com does tell you how pigs become pork -- in stomach-churning and possibly nightmare-inducing detail. Here, the pigs aren't frolicking because they're behind bars. But you can still send a cute, cheerful piggy postcard to your friends, asking them not to eat Babe for breakfast.
Self-esteem means never having to say "yes" to an abortion. At least that's the message wrapped deep, deep in the website GravityTeen. The endless radio ads flogging this site on the local modern rock station scarcely mention that you'll find "abortion survivor" stories here -- nor does it mention that it's sponsored by pro-life groups. The website for its sponsor, the Vitae Caring Foundation, has been "under construction" for the last three months.
Become one of the Girls of Grace and let Jesus give you the power to be skinny, cute and fashionable! And while you're at it, join the Point of Grace Street Team and help this Christian music group with their ~~album sales~~ ministry.
If you do a Google search for Tampax, you'll find that their website is not just a tampon page, but a place where women of all ages can go and express their feelings. Or over at another brand, you can read about Amanda James and her Playtex-using friends, but only if you register. (You can read about health facts without giving out your e-mail address, but wouldn't you rather read her diary? Go on, your pal Amanda won't do anything bad with your e-mail address -- promise!) I tried to see if Massengil had any special cartoon friends or places to share my feelings, but my browser up and quit. I think that's a sign.

::more what's shiny::previous : next

<< previous :: next>>