2002-08-02 12:20 PM
Dear Nielsen Diary: Evening 1
10:10 PM. TheBoy, who's gotten with the program now, tells me I need to turn on the TV since neither of us has watched it since this morning.
I grab the remote and start flipping around. Nothing is shiny enough to capture my interest for more than a minute or so, and Nielsen wants you to only write down shows you watch for 5 minutes or more. Finally, I start watching the Prevue Channel, which helpfully informs me that Mother, Jugs and Speed is on, of all channels, AMC. All I can remember about it is that it came out in the mid-70s and that my mother, who always griped about how much she hated it when she saw it in the TV listings, wouldn't let me or my brother watch it.
flip, flip, flip
It starts off with a bad disco-influenced theme song, with fast cuts between various flashing lights on an ambulance. Within the next 15 minutes, they manage to work in some gratuitous Raquel Welch nipple action, Larry Hagman feeling up an unwilling lady wrestler in the back of an ambulance ("I thought all lady wrestlers were fat dykes, but you're purty!"), Bill Cosby hauling off the dead body of a junkie while bringing the junkie's junkie girlfriend along, and a bunch of visual gags at the expense of a fat, elderly patient.
This is easily one of the most dreadful movies I've ever seen. So dreadful that after the second time they drop the old fat lady's gurney I can't watch any more.
So I scribble it down in the diary, mark it through until midnight, and flip the channel over to MTV Cribs. I've always wondered what Leann Rimes' teenage hubby looked like...