01-06-2005 11:30 AM

Best of Magpie 2004

I'm doing my year-end review on January 6, because I am a slacker. (Hey, at least I managed to crank out an Uberlist before New Year's. Don't ask me about my Christmas cards, though.)

I looked through my stats late last month to see what you, the loyal Magpie's Nest of Shiny Objects reader liked best last year, and only came up with this in my top 50 pages. (Apparently we all love a good California mocking.)

So here are the entries that should have joined the ranks of your Beloved Magpie Favorites, and that pretty well sum up the year chez Nest: Sweetcheeks and Turtledove engagement fun, a few good rants (political and otherwise), adjustment to the wonders of El Suburb, a couple of cat stories, mariachis and gnomes.

Next Time, Use More Candidate Softener (January 20)
Why do politicians need a Stepford wife anyway?

Say It With Stuff (January 30)
What marketing polls say about gender relations.

Super Bowl Commentary of the Damned (Feb 2)
TheBoy is Jewish, but he's going to hell anyway.

TheCat Does Not Adapt Well To Change (Feb. 19)
Moving didn't go as smoothly as we had hoped for our resident feline.

El Suburb Gets Out The Vote (March 3)
El Suburb's voting system is compared to that in the civilized world and comes up unfavorably.

We Are (Not) Family (March 22)
Take our Sons and Daughters to Work Day, and why "integration of work and family" is not something to be celebrated.

Mariachi Smackdown (May 3)
What should have happened, but didn't, the day two mariachi bands showed up at the same restaurant.

Hell Is (Letters To) Other People (May 14)
A week's worth of things I wish I'd had the presence of mind to say at the time.

Wedding Fever (July 18)
Sweetcheeks and Turtledove get engaged; the parents go nuts; the siblings find unexpected advantages.

TheCat Learns A New Skill (July 28)
If you have all day to channel your energies into evil, you will achieve it eventually, even if your brain is the size of a walnut.

The Gnomes Relive Their Return (October 16)
The garden gnomes perform a re-enactment of their dramatic return. Includes vacation photos.

Locusts in Spiderman Suits (Nov 1)
El Suburb area kids are into Hallowe'en hardcore. How two novices bore up under the assault.

The Five Stages of Political Grief (Nov 4)
"God/Goddess/Great Spirit/To Whom it may concern, I promise I'll go to every single City Council meeting for the next year if only You'll find some way to undo this awful mess of an election."

Diamonds Are A Girl's Only Friend (Dec 2)
Wait, you mean I have two hands? Thanks, DeBeers!


Notify list coming soon, hopefully later today, because wrapping myself around the ankles of Holidailies readers and begging them to stick around would be unseemly. Watch this space.


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