2003-01-07 5:04 PM
Your Favorite Burrito Is A Star!
"Be sure to see your favorite burrito," the sign on the burrito shop counter declared breathlessly, "this week on [popular voyeuristic family show] at [day] [time] on [network]!"
OK, if you substitute "the burrito within closest walking distance to bigwannabe.com that no one's told any food poisoning horror stories about lately" for "my favorite burrito," we're halfway there.
But why am I supposed to be excited about this?
Is it because "my favorite burrito" has hit the big time? "Look, Paw, I knew that burrito there on the tee-vee back when it was one of the little people." This is hardly the Little Burrito Shop that Could; not only is it already prominently featured on billboards all over the Bay Area, but it's part of a chain owned by McDonald's. McDonald's, people. This burrito is the Tori Spelling of product placement.
Is it some kind of intentionally misplaced regional pride thing? The Bay Area has lots of people who are vocally anti-chain, though you'd never guess it by the line of cars outside Ikea. This burrito shop doesn't actively lie about its ownership, but you won't find a mention of McDonald's on any of its advertising or packaging or anywhere in the store. It's a bit like how Whole Foods has the addresses of Bay Area stores on its bags -- implying that it's strictly a local thing, not a chain based in Texas.
Am I supposed to love "my favorite burrito" more because it's on this particular show, as though the burrito got there all by itself and America's favorite dysfunctional rock'n'roll family weren't being paid a mint to be filmed eating it? Even if they weren't, am I supposed to want to take pointers of any kind from an incontinent, drug-addled musician who was shown mock-fucking his dog on an ad that his network ran every 5 minutes in December? Not my idea of a nutritional role model, ya know?
I just shouldn't try thinking about pop culture. It only leads to trouble.