2004-02-23 1:24 p.m.

Stand, Turn, Smile, Sneeze

I've been offline for the past couple of days because I've been deep in preparation for the Miss Death Warmed Over 2004 Pageant.

I hope they have the microphones cranked up to extra-sensitive for the interview portion of the program, because my voice sounds like I've been chain-smoking and belting back the whiskey and the judges do need to actually be able to hear my responses in order for me to take the tiara. But on the nose-blowing competition? Those other bitches are going down.

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