2003-10-24 8:42 a.m.

Magpie's Gift Guide: For The Flag-Waving Patriot

"Love the USA? Then you'll love this whimsical pen, whose heart clearly belongs to the red, white and blue!" And your patriot can have two dozen of these babies for one low, low price -- plenty to leave around the office, at the monster truck dealership or the army surplus store for other patriots to borrow and appreciate!
This same site also sells possibly the least self-aware product ever advertised: the American Flag Pillar Candle.

I can't quite figure out what the motivation is behind these Native American shirts and gifts is. I kind of doubt they're intended for American Indians. Also, what's up with that backwards N?

Here's one for your favorite patriotic Jesus freak, from Jesus Surf Shop.

This special gift combines patriotism, Christmas and Thomas Kinkade. Who could ask for more?
(If for some shocking reason that particular patriotic child doll doesn't suit your patriot's taste, there are others here, here and here.)

This patriotic cap has flashing lights that you can turn off "when it's time to be discreet."

Don't just limit yourself to buying the whole family flag bandanas -- at these prices, you can outfit your whole block!

Say you hate Osama Bin Laden like you mean it.

This is the patriotic gift I'd rather see under my tree this year.

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