2004-11-01 7:57 a.m.
Locusts in Spiderman Suits
When Sweetcheeks and I were kids, we didn't trick-or-treat in our own neighborhood. We lived in a house that, like 3/4 of Mayberry, was up in the hills, so few people stocked up on candy. Instead, we'd head down the hill to one of the neighborhoods of small, close-together 1950s tract houses, where lots of kids lived and where the residents really got into Hallowe'en.
This year, after two lifetimes of sparse visiting from trick-or-treaters, TheBoy and I found out what it was like to live in one of those neighborhoods.
4 PM: We lay in supplies. We bought a stock of candy that seemed possibly excessive, but we want to be the house with the cool candy, so I grabbed one of everything I loved as a kid, plus some M&Ms that claim to have glow-in-the-dark wrappers and a cute Hallowe'en-themed candy bowl.
5 PM: No trick-or-treaters. I peek outside and see no one running around, so I'm not too worried. TheBoy observes that the "glow-in-the-dark" wrappers on the M&Ms aren't glowy all over, or even on the white parts, but in one little spot on the back of each wrapper. As people infatuated with our glow-in-the-dark piggy bank, we had to take a moment to mourn the coolness that might have been.
5:30 PM: Getting dark. I stick my nose outside again. I see a few trick-or-treaters running around outside. A few come by and then silence.
6:15 PM: I run out to get dinner from the Thai place down the street and find the sidewalk thick with trick-or-treaters... but none of them are visiting our house! Come back! I want to shout. We have the cool candy!
6:25 PM: I come back with the Thai food, and we figure out the problem: the motion-sensitive porch light isn't staying on long enough to entice trick-or-treaters. I fiddle with the switch and get it to stay on permanently.
6:26 PM: The cute yet incredibly persistent assault begins.
6:45 PM: I observe a banana and some applesauce in a couple of the kids' bags. TheBoy and I agree that that's really a crummy thing to do to a kid on Hallowe'en. Let them eat healthy stuff the other 364 days of the year!
7:00 PM: We're almost out of candy. TheBoy and I gawp at one another, since we thought we'd bought all the sugar our trick-or-treaters could handle, and TheBoy runs out to Target to get more.
7:05 PM: I answer the ringing doorbell again, and see no one directly
in front of the door, but a giggling horde standing a few feet back.
Suddenly a six-year old cowboy jumps in front of the open door and
yells, "Boo!" I make a startled noise and the crowd assembled on the
steps starts to cheer. "Yaaaaaaay! You finally got one!"
After the locusts in Spiderman suits clear out, the cowboy's mom asks
if I was really scared, and I fess up to exaggerating for effect... a
little.
7:15 PM: TheBoy arrives with reinforcements -- and just in time, since we're almost cleaned out.
7:30 PM: For the most part, the older kids have not taken candy when offered the bowl, while the littlest princesses and ghosts have been reaching for whatever candy they found the shiniest. However, with the introduction of Skittles, the balance has changed and the older kids have become much less shy about expressing a preference. Note to self: load up on Skittles next year, especially since they fit more packets of them in a bag than other kinds of candy.
7:45 PM: "Ooh, Skittles!" My hand is starting to cramp from carrying around the festive Hallowe'en bowl.
8:00 PM: The hordes have slowed to a trickle and once again we're cleaned out. The total damage:
- 3 bags Hershey's Miniatures
- 1 bag Reese's Mini Peanut Butter Cups
- 1 monster bag of fraudulently glow-in-the-dark Peanut M&Ms
- 1 bag Twix
- 1 monster bag of "Kids Favorite Mix" (90 pieces, most of which were the aforementioned Skittles)
- 1 monster bag of "Hershey's Assortment" (100 pieces)
- 1 monster bag of "Kiddie Party Mix" (SweeTarts, lollipops, bubblegum, Smarties, etc. Piece count unknown.)
We gave out easily 500 or more pieces of junky, smell-the-sugar-across-the-room- even-when-the-bags-are-closed goodness.
Most popular costume, girls: Fairy princess, some with wings. Extra points to the four-year-old who made scary hands unprompted.
Most popular costume, boys: SpiderMan and the monster from the Scream movies. My favorite was the little Samurai Jack, complete with cape.
There were also an assortment of very small children in bunny and lion suits, which made my ovaries ache a little. Though, as TheBoy pointed out, I was probably confusing that for the toothache I was getting from all those sugar fumes. Yum!