2003-06-26 10:18 p.m.

Hot Time, Letters In The City

Dear TheCat:

I know you still think the heat is all my fault. I'm doing the best I can to keep it cool in here. Meanwhile, since you're lying around the apartment doing nothing all day anyway, why don't you call my mortgage broker and find out what's up with that preapproval?

Love,
Your Owner and Meal Ticket

Dear Texas Legislature:

Does this mean you'll finally get rid of that ridiculous dildo law too?

No?

Oh well. It was worth a shot, though, wasn't it?

Love,
A Naturalized Texan Heathen (Emeritus)

Dear Sellers of Adorable, Affordable Houses With Excellent Ventilation in Nice East Bay Neighborhoods:

Me! Me! Me! Sell to me! I'll love your house and kiss it and call it George! Please! My apartment sucks! Oh, please please pllllllease!

Look at that sweet little face! Can you bear to disappoint such a dear little creature?

Love,
The Future Owner Of Your Wonderful House

Dear Seattle Mariners:

Dude! The Padres??

Keep up the good work! Only six losses to go!

Love,
An A's Fan

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