2003-11-25 5:32 PM
Dicks Are Forever
For the past several days, I've been receiving at least one spam a day urging me to GIVE HER THE BIG DICK SHE WANTS.
I can't help but imagine a soft-focus, DeBeers-style commercial where a woman is kneeling by the Christmas tree and the camera assesses her in that Laura Mulvey, proprietary male gaze kind of way. She's holding a blue velvet box, about 10 inches by 3 inches, and her eyes start to mist over -- should she even dare hope that the box contains what she desperately wishes it does? Could her man possibly be that special and sensitive? And as she slowly opens the box, an expression of sheer joy lights up her face and she squeals, "Darling! You shouldn't have!"
Just me? All right then.