2002-11-07 6:32 p.m.
My New Celebrity Friends
I have so many new celebrity friends!
They've been calling me up for the last month or so, but I was especially popular last week. Bill Clinton wanted me to vote for Grey Davis for governor and other Democrats for everything else. Jesse Jackson also asked me to vote Democratic, calling on my African-American pride and respect for the struggles of our people. I'm actually so white that in times of unemployment I've considered renting myself out as a human Fresnel lens to lighthouses, so if there's a drop of African blood in there, it's hiding really well. But since Jesse and I haven't yet met, I can see how there might be a misunderstanding. Next time you're in town, Jesse, call me again (you have my number) and we'll do lunch!
Then there are the local politicians, who called up to say hi and, while they were on the phone with me anyway, offer suggestions on how to vote. Dianne Feinstein (one of our senators) felt passionately about her choice for treasurer and wanted to be sure I knew about him. The two mayors Brown (Willie and Jerry, of San Francisco and Oakland respectively) wanted to chat and offer their ideas, too. Then there was Art Torres, who took time out from his busy day as chair of the California Democratic Party to let me know about the importance of voting Democratic this year.
Martin Sheen also called, though I'm not sure if it was in his capacity as political activist or TV president. He, too, had some ideas about how I should vote. I'm glad my new friends are so politically aware!
Unfortunately, I may have disappointed some of my new friends, since none of them have called in the last couple of days. Was it that I couldn't bring myself to hold my nose and vote Davis, so I went with a third-party candidate? Was it because I was dazzled by the job title of "Ferret Legalization Coordinator" and strayed from the party line? I'm not sure what I did to upset them so, but maybe they'll have forgiven me by this time in 2004.
Check out the sticker I got as a reward for standing in the cold for an hour and a half and poking at a screen with stiff, icy fingers. Ours was the first county in the Bay Area to get touch-screen voting. Yes, the Bay Area is the center of high tech. Yes, all our elections have been stone-age until now. No, I can't explain it either.
