2003-11-14 7:04 p.m.

What It's Like To Buy A House

Up.

I GOT THE HOUSE I GOT THE HOUSE I GOT THE HOUSE!!!

Down.

Dear God, how am I going to pay for the house?

Up.

Only 20 minutes and a buck forty to get copies of the permit history from my new town's building department, and they were nice to boot? In my current city it would have taken all morning, cost at least 20 bucks if they'd deign to copy them at all, and I'd be lucky if they didn't spit on me on the way out. I could get used to this.

Down.

Electrical upgraded in 1981, furnace and retrofitting in '93... here's the permit from the roof being replaced in 1969, but where's the permit for the roof that's on there now?

...

Uh-oh.

Up.

...but while the report says that the roof is "past its useful life," the inspector tells me off the record that my 34-year old roof is in terrific shape and with a little maintenance may not need to be replaced for years.

Down.

Bummer about that drainage problem though...

Up.

...which can probably be fixed fairly easily with an inexpensive (though labor-intensive) installation of a French drain...

Down.

...which many people in the area make even cheaper by hiring day laborers to dig the trench. Of course, if this is an ethical dilemma, then so is eating out, since every restaurant kitchen in the Bay Area is staffed with illegal workers, as is every field that yields up local produce and oh my head hurts and I'd better add this one to the long list of things to table until spring. Fuck.

Up.

Inspection contingency lifted -- and with credit at close from the seller for the few things I asked them to fix. We're about 80% of the way to a done deal. Woohoo! Down.

What do you mean, you don't insure houses "of this age" in my area? All of the houses in my area are of this age!

Up.

You found someone who will insure me at a reasonable rate? Woohoo!

Down.

What county will I be living in, Mr. Insurance Broker? C-c-c-contra Costa. Ow. That hurt more than I expected.

Up.

Almost there!

Down. ...after signing this inch-thick stack of paper.

Down. ...and shelling out a huge amount of cash for closing.

Up.

Mine! Mine! All mine!

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