2002-10-28 10:32 p.m.
IC #4: What's Shiny Today: Halloween Edition
This What's Shiny was also Immunity Challenge #4 for Diary Survivor.
- The Pumpkin
Propulsion Contest came out of one man's simple yet inspiring dream -- to build a cannon
that could use pumpkins as cannonballs. His invention was so effective that he had to bow out
of his own contest to give others a fair chance. "He has yet to fire the cannon at full power,"
we are told, "although a pumpkin fired in a demonstration last week went through the rear of a
Pontiac." They don't show a picture of the inventor, which makes me wonder if he sustained
injuries in the making of this cannon. It's much less fun if he's in a cast or wears an eye patch
because he was sprayed with pumpkin shrapnel.
And besides making excellent ammo, pumpkins can prevent artery hardening and scurvy. Who knew? - Did your friends trash your house last time you had them all over? Want to be sure you
never have to host a Halloween party for the gang again? Try whipping up some of these
recipes for Gross
Halloween Party Food. Dish up a plate full of Kitty Litter Cake or Boogers on
a Stick and your guests will mutiny, calling up the Chinese takeout down the street
before you even know what hit you.
- After the kids have come home from trick-or-treating and gone to sleep,
leaving their bags of candy unguarded, an important question arises:
which wine should you pair with your newfound plunder? Fortunately, one of
the food writers at Creative
Loafing Atlanta has answered
this pressing gastronomic question. A sparkling wine works best across the board,
but this article has specific recommendations for different candies. The fruitiness
of a Chardonnay, for example, "shimmied up affectionately to the candy corns."
- Of course, as a concerned parent, you wouldn't actually want to let your
little scalawags engage in a Satanic ritual, would you? Order this
Hell House Outreach Kit now and
save not only your own child's soul but many, many others. The kit includes a script
for "an unforgettable 30 minutes" that will send sinners scampering to Jesus, tips
on budgeting, recruiting and costuming, a sample broadside you can plaster your town with,
prayerful messages you can parrot to the unsaved, and even a helpful video showing the incredible
witnessing potential of this production.
All for just $199!
- And speaking of scary things, Maroon Tunes
features songs about Texas Aggie life and the
Republican party, "spanning several musical categories including country, rock, swing,
reggae, and rap." You'll treasure such songs as "Sweet Home College Station," "Every
Vote Must Be Counted" (oh, so now that's a plank in the Republican platform?)
and "One Aggie At The Alamo." But what about other fine Aggie pastimes, such as
drinking Shiner until you puke, pinching the ass
of your Medieval Times bar wench on a road trip
to see the Cowboys, and booty calls with farm animals?
Google searches:
Billy Beane, gay (Actually, it's
Billy Bean this person was thinking of...)
shiny women
NON FREEZE DRIED ROYAL JELLY