2002-08-20 9:23 p.m.

Beating Them Off With A Popsicle Stick

Did you know that they make a shaving gel for women that smells exactly, and I mean exactly, like a Dreamsicle?

NAPS, your online source for press releases that pretend to be newspaper feature syndicate articles, has a puff piece featuring this very product, wittily entitled "Hot Legs for the Hot Summer." It suggests that you prepare your legs for summer not Bay Area-style (swaddling them in as many layers of wool as you can manage while still being able to walk), but by using a wide array of Gillette products.

"Women looking for a more 'sensory' shaving experience," advises the article, "should check out the five fruit-fragranced Satin Care Shave Gels like new Melon Splash or Orange Swirl."

What they don't tell you, though -- and I know this, because I made the mistake of buying a can, thinking that while their other gels smelled like dessert, they couldn't possibly botch up orange -- is that the "sensory experience" could well involve being chased down the street by roving gangs of ice-cream-crazed children trying to lick your legs.

Is this the "fun and fashionable" shaving experience Gillette apparently wants me to have?

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