2002-07-18 8:25 a.m.
Every Man's Fantasy
Alex Michel of "The Bachelor" infamy told People magazine that having 20 women served up to him on a platter and getting to humiliate 19 of them on national TV was "every man's fantasy." (Well, perhaps not precisely in those words.)
Remembering the interesting results I came up with when trying to catch up on those "Female 101" classes I apparently slept through in high school, I thought I'd try the same thing for the guys. Y'know, learn about the subtle ins and outs of the male mind. The gentle yearnings boys have and don't share with the womenfolk. The things they really talk about when the cameras taping beer commercials go away. So I cranked up the anti-porn filters to "high" (to increase the odds of netting the sensitive-guy stuff) and here's what I found:
- Interviewing a Hooters waitress.
- Lingerie models wrestling.
- Being James Bond.
- Lesbians.
- Owning a brewery.
- The BMW M series roadster.
- Prenups.
- Being such a hottie that everyone hits on you.
- Japanese high school girls possessed by nymphomaniac ghosts.
- Viagra.
- A riding mower.
- Being Bachelor of the Month in Cosmo.
- Lesbians necking at a Dodgers game.
- Wearing a gorilla suit.
- Big construction equipment.
- And finally, this, which you probably shouldn't look at if you're reading this from work or school (or are anywhere and under 18). (Even the industrial-strength Google family filters miss a few things.)