2002-07-12 6:09 PM
God Bless Cod
So Frito-Lay is coming out with a new line of potato chip flavors called "Taste of America." And they want you -- yes, you! -- to help vote in the next two cutely-regional flavors, which Miss America will crown. (Though do you think the common American is invited to the coronation of America's latest patriotically-themed snack food? Not even if you win their contest, boyo.)
Thing is, I'd like to do my patriotic duty and vote, but the flavors they offer really leave me cold. "Wisconsin Cheddar?" So overdone. "New Orleans Gumbo?" You know they'll cop out on that one and just make the chips peppery. "Coney Island Hot Dog?" Has some potential, but it will probably be a rehash of bacon and cheddar, minus the cheddar.
So I want to start a write-in campaign for two other true American flavors -- "Minnesota Lutefisk" and "Georgia Peach." There's no faking those flavors with pepper or random meat product, and they're both more genuinely regional than "California Cool Dill."
C'mon, America, are you with me? If we don't do this, the terrorists will have already won!